In search of the Sons of Barnum

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Legend has it that the doyen of studio publicity, Russell Birdwell, came up with the bright idea to use the film trades to sell celebrity real estate. Errol Flynn in 1954, used Variety and advertised his hilltop, ten acre estate, complete with caretaker, tennis court, “gorgeous pool,” projection room and pony ring. This was the residence where Flynn once had a fancy dress party featuring white -mice races emceed by George Jessel. Birdwell inserted a line ads and cautioned: “Qualified prospects by appointment.”
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In search of the Sons of Barnum

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Without great PR advice, history teaches us that there are many ways to destroy a successful career in the film biz. The most common is shooting inappropriate remarks from the hip. The mighty Tom Mix was a top cowboy of American silent films, known for his daring stunts, and equally famous for his elaborate cowboy outfits. He was the model for the dandyish, squeaky-clean movie cowboy that was much parodied in later years. Mix also had a famous steed, Tony the Wonder Horse. When the great recession hit California, Westerns were axed by the dozen. Mix was stung and troubled,…
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BECAUSE I’M WORTH IT

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The Borkowski poet in residence succumbs to the power of celebrity advertising on hearing that Catherine Zeta-Jones has topped a list of the highest-paid product endorsing celebrities – Penelope Cruz also made the list after earning £2.2 million to promote L’Oreal hair products. I want to eat crisps and suddenly become a football god and TV personality in one fell swoop because seriously, I am so worth it. I want to live like a celebrity choking on money and girls and whatever else is to hand because I am worth it. I want weak lager to make me look like…
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STOP RUNNING, JADE

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Jade Goody failed to complete this year’s London Marathon. Before beginning the race she admitted she had hardly trained for the event. She said her training diet had consisted of Chinese takeaways, curries and beer. Stop running Jade, stop running. Your curry’s ready and you look exhausted. You’ve done ten minutes already and it’s started raining. Stop running Jade, stop running. Have a beer. Smoke a fag. Calm yourself down. Stop running Jade, stop running. Your face looks like a beetroot and it’s not from embarrassment this time. We’re worried about you. There’s only so much you can do for…
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In search of the Sons of Barnum goes to New York

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DAY 9 and 10 My final weekend in New York is spent trying to get stories out of some of the old carnival fiends down at Coney Island. I find them terribly reticent to talk about the glorious past. They seem totally paranoid about making conversation with someone who isn’t marked by a tattoo or piercing. Perhaps their goodwill has been taken advantage of in the past. I sort of give them the benefit of the doubt but my old client Jim Rose always warned me about semi pro freaks. “One day a freak will be hammering a nail up…
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In search of the Sons of Barnum goes to New York

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Day 8 Joe Flynn seems to have been one of the most fertile press agents around the turn of the century. He spun the Salome vogue, the phoniest craze of all to hit the stage. It was all based around the then provocative Salome dance. When New York went Salome-mad the rest of the nation followed unable to detect the hand of Flynn. The gifted publicist was given the task of working up the first incarnation of Maude Allen’s famous London routine, portrayed in the US by Gertrude Hoffman. She was vaudeville’s leading female star and her initial success was…
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The Empty Throne

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after Ozymandias by Percy Bysshe Shelley “The Queen, who is 80 today, is the best thing about the monarchy: constant, reassuring and one of the most accomplished politicians of our age. But the institution is finished and Elizabeth could well be all that’s keeping it alive.” Jonathan Freedland, The Guardian, 21st April 2006 I met a traveller from the wilds of Staines who said: “I passed the monarch’s empty throne, stood in the palace’s crumbling remains; a half sunk statue of Prince Charles, his frown marking the stone like a tube map of veins, leans into a portrait of the…
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The Daredevil Deficit

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The Daredevil Deficit Who can rival David Blaine in the stuntman stakes? So it has come to pass that the mighty David Blaine is about to mastermind another huge public stunt, and this time he’ll need his Speedos. Perish the thought! Evidently the stuntster Blaine is planning to live underwater for a week in a human-sized fish tank outside of New York’s Lincoln Centre. http://media.guardian.co.uk/columnists/story/0,,1756847,00.html
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In search of the Sons of Barnum goes to New York

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Day 7 Wandering up Broadway I am bedazzled by the neon marquis’ that cluster, brashly proffering the stupendous wares inside the auditoria. The press quotes are probably filtered, the longer running shows benefiting from reviews from forgotten newspaper critics marvelling at the original cast, long since moved on to another spectacle. Reading the hype I smile and wonder how much of the breathless prose is a real representation of the original review?
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In search of the Sons of Barnum goes to New York

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Day 6. A visit to the New York public library suggests that there was a great deal of consternation in the City around 1919. Adventurous stuntsers were beginning to show little respect for the law. There is evidence that Harry Reichenbach got himself into real hot water when he was exposed, attempting to pay an official who had access to unidentified bodies at the City morgue.
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LESSONS IN LOVE FOR POSH BOYS WHO WANT TO BE FAMOUS

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Written after reading that Preston and Chantelle are planning to marry. 1 Find yourself a blonde, preferably not naturally so. Make sure she has a voice like a choir of foghorns and a burning desire to be famous. It matters not for what. Woo her with champagne at Macdonalds whilst the press looks on, their cameras chattering like prurient chimps at a tea party. Or meet her on reality TV. Begin as you mean to go on. It will help if you sing or play some sort of sport, will allow the press a whole new lexicon of metaphor on…
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WEDDING PLANS

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Celebrity Big Brother winner Chantelle is still living the dream, to the extent that she and Preston, who she met in the Big Brother house, have announced their engagement. I’m marrying for money for the equity cash brings. My fiancee wasn’t loaded, he plays guitar and sings but we met on television and we’re minting it right now. so to keep the cash flow rushing we’ll milk every sacred cow until they stagger anorexic and can take no more abuse. Yes, we’re getting married; and there’s babies to produce, because there’s nothing like a baby to make the public swoon…
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In search of the Sons of Barnum goes to New York

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Day 3. Walking the streets of New York I get a real sense of place and can almost conjure up the spring of the origins of PR. How cool would it be to reconstruct some of the great exploits of Harry Reichenbach? Visiting the lobby of Hotel Belleclaire I can only imagine the chaoses of the Tarzan ape exploit. Located in the heart of Manhattan’s trendy upper west side, the Belleclaire Hotel was built in 1903 and designed by famed architect E. Roth. It is a charming hotel that has housed the likes of Mark Twain and movie stars over…
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Dream marriage?

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Preston and Chantelle: Dream marriage or.. Mirror.co.uk – UK … that contestants who get together post-reality shows make a lot of money – Jordan and Peter Andre being the prime example,” says celebrity PR Mark Borkowski. … http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/tm_objectid=16949549&method=full&siteid=94762&headline=just-a-kiss-and–telle–name_page.html
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In search of the Sons of Barnum goes to New York

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Research for the Sons of Barnum brings me to New York to find the great publicists of the entertainment business, Broadway, in particular. Many of the early film companies had headquarters in New York and it was in such places that many of the great publicists like Harry Reichenbach fine tuned their craft in the shadows of these offices. Meeting Ralph Dyer, now in his 90’s uncovered some of the exploits of these Broadway press agents, giving me a great deal of insight into a recklessness that has long been forgotten.
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