Mark Comments in the Press.
With a keen eye for cultural trends and a depth of insight honed through years of experience in the public eye, Mark stands as a beacon of clarity in a world often shrouded in confusion.
Mark’s commentary is both thought-provoking and incisive, inviting audiences to see beyond the surface and engage with the complexities of our times.
VULTURE NATION
“Good photographers who have been thrown out by newspapers in cost cutting exercises now find themselves trudging celebrity land, like bounty hunters in search of prey. They are on the street, eating what they kill. Certain papers will publicly claim that they allow privacy, but they’re all hungry for front-page pictures… Even if the UK papers say they will allow privacy, they may decide to publish pictures that have already been shown abroad. If… people understood the pressures, perhaps they might take a stance on whether they would buy a paper that procured pictures in an underhand way. But I…
BRITNEY DE MILO
Britney Spears is commissioning a nude portrait of herself. She has finally got back in shape following the birth of her second son, Jayden James, and is so proud of her figure she wants it “immortalised” in a painting. For Britney Spears, immortality means being painted in the nude. She wants to be a pop art princess. She wants oils to make her less crude. She wants to define herself by her body, leave her mind at the studio door but they don’t make the kind of painters who can help her any more. If she wants to be a…
THIS IS HOW THE OLD YEAR DIES
This is how the old year dies; a ragged dictator swinging from the rope of days and weeks and months let go in the midst of prayers in a flood of abuse before the past can break from its cage. All the weddings and divorces, the extravagant moments of fake joy; all the tabloid exclusives, the celebrities bugging out in jungles; all the wars and warriors, the power and the paranoia; all the exposes and knicker shots, the pop queens in rehab; all the cardboard gangsters, the politicians and the paparazzi strangle slowly as the trapdoor opens. This is how…
A Kiss and Hell Story
Having watched “Some Like It Hot” over the Christmas holiday, I was reminded of the controversy between Marilyn Monroe and Tony Curtis. Image wise, Monroe did very well from this film, but Tony Curtis’ publicist put a different spin on things. He reported that Curtis had said kissing Monroe in “Some Like It Hot” was like “kissing Hitler”. This comment fuelled an ongoing battle between the two Hollywood stars. Years later, Tony Curtis denied that he had said anything of the sort and declared that it was all down to his publicist. During the 20th Century, publicists like Harry Reichenbach…
An Inequitable Life
Charlie Drake made most of his money in the autumn of his career in seaside shows and pantomimes. His luck held until the Christmas of 1974, when he was starring in Jack and the Beanstalk at Bradford. As a publicity stunt, he auditioned local girls for one of the parts and Sue Moody, a 22-year-old housewife, was chosen. Three days before the show opened, Equity phoned to say that as Moody was not a member she must leave the theatre at once. Drake would not remove her and was fined £760, which he refused to pay. Equity temporarily banned him…
Bedbound and Fancy Free
Cultural engineering proved to be an exciting craft for the Hollywood studio publicists who created endless stories to promote actors and actresses alike. It was reported that Jayne Mansfield made everything in her house pink. She had a pink heart shaped bath installed in her bathroom, along with a pink outdoor pool. She had a bespoke pink heart shaped bed in her bedroom in which she posed regularly for photographs. It was also reported that Peter Sellers of “Dr Strangelove” and “Being There” fame, would only sleep in a bed that faced in the East West position. Lupe Velez insisted…
Horseplay, penguins and dangerous toys
Marty Weiser, the Hollywood publicist, was famous for his inspired premiere party for Mel Brooks’ cult film Blazing Saddles, which starred Gene Wilder and Cleavon Little. Mel Brooks took a risk when he allowed Weiser to stage this stupendous publicity stunt in a disused Drive In movie theatre. In keeping with the film, which was a pastiche on the old Westerns, Weiser insisted everyone turn up not in cars, but on horseback. The evening itself proved to be fraught for Weiser as nobody turned up on time and the movie producers began to berate him for it being a stupid…
I'M SURE I CAN LEARN FROM LEMBIT
“Yesterday the Liberal Democrats cemented their reputation as a party struggling to be taken seriously after Lembit Opik, MP announced that he had split with his television weather forecaster fiancee and was dating one half of the kitsch pop duo the Cheeky Girls.” The Guardian, 18/12/06. The Borkowski poet in residence considers what Tony Blair might make of this, given his current desire to bury bad news… I’m sure I can learn from Lembit and resurrect my career. I must just date a celebrity and I’ll be in the clear. Of course I’m a leader of men and if I’m…
THIS IS WHAT I DO
The Bishop of Southwark faced his congregation recently sporting a black eye after admitting that he could not remember being “mugged” following a drinks reception at the Irish embassy. Witnesses, however, say he clambered into a stranger’s Mercedes and started throwing toys on to the road. When asked what he was doing by the car’s owner, the Bishop replied: “I’m the Bishop of Southwark, it’s what I do.” I’m the Bishop of Southwark and this is what I do: I throw toys from the pram when I’m in a jam. What’s it got to do with you? Oh I’m the…
Theo Cowan
The affable and humorous Theo Cowan, was the UK first PR superstar. Before setting up his consultancy in the 1960’s he was head of Rank film publicity. The film company created the legendary Rank Charm School whose graduates included Diana Dors, Honor Blackman, Petula Clark Sylvia Syms and copied the modus operandi of the Hollywood studio system. Rank recruited pretty – and sometimes pretty talent less – boys and girls aged between 16 and 25, and taught them how to walk, behave and talk properly. Cowan made quite a name schooling the starlets in the ways of the media and…
Blair: a good day to bury bad news?
On a day of a million conspiracy theories here is another one for the cynical and the jaded to chew over. Pinch me hard but am I the only one to notice a classic example of news management today. http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/organgrinder
DOWNING STREET SPIN
“Tony Blair yesterday became the first serving prime minister to be interviewed as part of a criminal investigation when Scotland Yard officers running the “cash for peerages” inquiry questioned him for two hours in Downing Street… They stressed they had not chosen the timing of the interview with Mr Blair, leaving No 10 open to the charge that its officials had hoped to dampen the explosive impact of Mr Blair’s interview in the cacophany of other events.” The Guardian, 15/12/06 We’re burying bad news in a shallow grave because fortune favours the sly not the brave so in today’s news…
Is Channel 4's Christmas message really alternative?
Stuntwatch: Over the years, Channel 4 has generated hype with its ‘alternative’ Christmas message. Does it really have anything new to say this year? By Mark Borkowski http://blogs.guardian.co.uk
ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER POP BAND
“Just when we thought we’d waved goodbye to the denim-clad ghost of the 1990s boyband phenomenon, Take That have begun their second ascent to pop stardom… But comebacks are not always so smooth. Ask All Saints. Just a few weeks in, the reunion of the whinging foursome is already being talked about as a flop: their first album in six years, Studio 1, entered the charts at No 41 last weekend.” Independent on Sunday, December 3rd 2006 Another day, another pop band crawling from the woodwork eager for a second slice of fame. Another day, another pop band oblivious to…
CAMEO & SUPERCAMEO
Elton John has lost out on a part in the next Superman movie after being outbid at an auction. The singer’s offer of £40,000 was topped by British business tycoon Sir Philip Green – the owner of high-street fashion giant TopShop – who paid £50,000 for the cameo role for his wife Tina. The allure of celluloid still holds sway for the rich and eager prepared to pay through nose and ears for a cameo part in a blockbuster film that’s far from art but iconic enough to last a while. Just long enough to make great-grandkids smile when they…
IN HELL
“In hell, nothing you have done will not be watched.” From Household Gods by Anne Stevenson. In hell, your every indiscretion will be picked over endlessly on freeze frame repeat and your life will be condensed into daily half hour slots of pain. In hell you will live forever and learn how to attract flies. In hell, each blinkered and unworthy thought each curse, each brief display of hate will be broadcast at high volume to anyone who cares to listen with running commentary from smug demons who’ll pull at their sharp suits and smile inscrutably, while you scream into…
ONE MORE TIME
“The new Britney Spears soap opera, centered on her marital problems, seems to be holding its own against the real news agenda… such was the perfection of the strike against Spears’ wayward spouse Kevin Federline, it managed to generate ink even when the global news agenda had more momentous things to consider.” Mark Borkowski, Stuntwatch, November 13 Britney Spears once more endears herself with the worldwide press as a slimmed down, sussed up superstar who can fit back in a dress. Now it’s no more punch drunk lover’s tiffs and no more sportswear hell and she’s toe to toe with…
The Cuban Pillow Crisis
The Ulster Linen Co., Inc. of New York was noted for being the most reliable source of Fine European Linens in the U.S. The company enlisted Jim Moran to publicise their linens further afield in the Mid and Western States of the U.S. In true Moran style, he organised the world’s biggest ever pillow fight, pre the Guinness book of records which was a great shame as its genius has been lost to time. But Moran staged regional challenges in each capital city of each State and got all the finalists together for the grand fight in Washington. The regional…
IF BOOKS WERE CHOCOLATES
As publishers, desperate to recreate the massive sales of Jordan’s volume of autobiography, continue to flood the market with poor-selling celebrity hagiographies, the Borkowski poet in residence tries to get inside the mind of the audience they seem to be targeting. All I want for Christmas is a book a book about the life of a celebrity cook or maybe David Beckham, or Jordan or Tom Cruise a book about anyone who’s in the news. Please make the cover lovely, make the revelations petty and do make sure the writing has been done by a committee. I don’t want a…
Where the Bee Sucks…
The old movie publicists like Nottage and Reichenbach were very clever in creating false back stories for their clients; exotic lifestyles, estranged family members, passions for couture were the foundations for many of these extravagant biographies. Perhaps the most amusing was when fiction became fact in the case of Clara Kimble Smith, whom Harry Reichenbach had falsely reported as being a great lover of bees. Harry claimed that she spent hours visiting beehives, used beeswax to moisturise her skin and enjoyed studying bees from an anthropological angle. Clara was then asked if she would become patron to the U.S. Honeymakers…