The Borkowski poet in residence takes at look at headline-grabbing policymaking in light of John Reid’s plans to introduce a text messaging scheme for potential visa overstayers. Text an immigrant, hug a hoodie. Solve race relations; hang Jade Goody. Text an immigrant but don’t be petty – they can stay if they’re pretty like Shilpa…
Tony Blair is still clearly considering his place in history. The Borkowski poet in residence wonders if he might not be better placed in a Gilbert and Sullivan operetta… I am the very model of a modern cool Prime Minister. My intonation’s lively, not serious and sinister. I know the Queen of England and my…
Prince Charles was overheard on Tuesday suggesting that McDonalds should be banned. It later came out that his Duchy Original Cornish Pasties were fattier, saltier and generally less healthy than a Big Mac. The Borkowski poet in residence considers what Charles might be thinking. I don’t want blubbery subjects enslaved to some burger chain. It…
The Borkowski poet in residence imagines what might really be going on in some Labour MPs’ minds after Peter Hain’s furious reaction to satirist Rory Bremner’s hoax phone call to Margaret Beckett in 2005, in which he pretended to be Gordon Brown and got her to gossip about cabinet colleagues. For more information, click here….
In the aftermath of Anna Nicole Smith’s untimely death and the media frenzy over Britney Spears’ apparent inability to cope with fame and its consequences, the Borkowski poet in residence offers these words of advice for any starlet living on the edge… To read Mark Borkowski’s take on the same subject, click here. Bubbling, bubbling,…
Troubled pop starlet Britney Spears took reinvention to an extreme this weekend, shaving her head to the scalp days after reportedly checking in and out of rehab, sparking media speculation that she is nearing a breakdown. The weight of the world rests on celebrity shoulders when the pressure gets too much and confidence moulders away…
Robbie Williams checked himself into a rehab clinic on Tuesday. Last night, a reformed Take That won Best Single at the Brit Awards. Swings and roundabouts, seroxat not booze. Robbie Williams is making the wrong sort of news. Swings and roundabouts, Red Bull and Vicodin. Robbie’s in rehab. His star is eroding. Swings and roundabouts,…
The Borkowski poet in residence remembers Anna Nicole Smith
David Cameron allegedly smoked cannabis at Eton 25 years ago. The Borkowski poet in residence wonders how this revelation may change his approach to reaching power. “This is a challenge and an opportunity for David Cameron. He is young, he is an ironic idealist, he still has his hair… he could make the Conservative Party…
Kylie Minogue and Olivier Martinez have split amid rumours he had been unfaithful. Olivier has been linked to a series of other women throughout the couple’s four-year relationship. The Borkowski poet in residence takes a look, from a male perspective, at how this sort of behaviour can help consolidate fame. It takes some saliva to…