Psalm 6 from The Book of Common Celebrity Prayer. I want to be a prophet for the new millennium. I want to be the voice of superstar chic. I want to be the greatest, the coolest, the latest. I want cameras in the toilets when I take a leak. I want to inspire celebrity fatwahs….
Words of warning for the Arctic Monkeys. You must get into the charts again, keep weaving that uncertain spell that put you for weeks at number one – number two next time would be hell – but you mustn’t get journalists cross by being too clever-by-half. Don’t make the second record too great or they’ll…
You don’t sack Max Celebrity Big Brother winner Chantelle’s decision to drop Max Clifford looks naive, especially as he’s a master at keeping bad news out of the tabloids http://media.guardian.co.uk/marketingandpr/comment/0,,1699041,00.html
BIG BROTHER The romance of the Nobodies (Chantelle and Preston) will run and run – at least until she becomes the face of Primark – but the story of BB7 is the redemption of Michael Barrymore.
for Chantelle, winner of Celebrity Big Brother “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” Eleanor Roosevelt By all means “live the dream” – whatever it is – just make sure it’s a beautiful one, that you control it, because dreams can be fickle inexplicable, cruel prone to be forgotten…
Written after reading that Nicole Kidman is likely to return to Catholicism after a long dalliance with Scientology. If work is thin on the ground and your weight’s increasing, if booze is not helping and your accountant’s been fleecing you dry as a biscuit whilst your partner’s affair makes headline news – or even if…
Psalm 22 from The Book of Common Celebrity Prayer Last week, actress Holly Hunter gave birth to twins. Shortly afterwards, it was announced that actress Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are expecting twins. Give me fertility or give me death, give me two babies, give me IVF. Give me a c-section, give me a simple…
The Sun Newspaper reported that nervous TV bosses have axed an episode of South Park which outs a fictional Tom Cruise character as gay — because they are scared the real actor will sue. Tom Cruise, Tom Cruise is not amused by satire or cartoons. If they suggest that he is gay, with lawyers he…
Gwyneth Paltrow and husband Chris Martin claim that they are being haunted by the ghost of Adolphus White – a Royal College of Music professor who died in 1902. Coldplay star Chris is convinced the spectre affected his creativity while he was writing the band’s last album ‘X&Y’. I hear his footsteps, late, within my…
Protecting the golden goose. Sven should pay for a better defence against intrusive journalism if he is to stay out of the tabloids Coughing up his Swiss-style premium muesli on Sunday morning, Sven-Goran Eriksson surely might have considered his consistency in making gigantic PR blunders on a scale few professionals have ever seen before. http://media.guardian.co.uk/columnists/story/0,7550,1687751,00.html