THE INT’RESTING GAME

The Borkowski poet in residence managed to tease an interview out of David Beckham on the announcement of his move to Los Angeles Galaxy for a quarter of a billion dollars.

It’s time to a be a bit int’resting
and remodel my career
on Pele and George Best;
get American footie into gear.

The money will be int’resting –
Victoria’s very happy.
The paparazzi all speak English there;
we hope they’ll be positively snappy.

I’ve got to up my game a bit
both on and off the field;
in LA, int’resting’s not enough –
more must be revealed.

So I’m going into training
to learn just how to cope;
my mate Tom Cruise will teach me
how to smile I hope

and how to jump on sofas
and to be a suttle sort of brash.
Victoria’s already sorted
on the excessive spending dash

so she will fit right in
without a trace of strain,
which is more than can be said
for our int’resting time in Spain.

The kids will find it int’resting
cos the help will all speak Spanish;
they’ll survive whatever
if our fortunes vanish.

I’ll teach Americans how a football
can make a man less dull
without dressing up in armour
and trying to crush the opponent’s skull

and I’ll end my career in all the dignity
the LA life can bring
with a quarter billion dollars
and a wife weighed down by bling.

I’ll give the American people
a love of the beautiful game.
I wish they wouldn’t call it soccer;
that’s not an int’resting name.